The Rio Vista Yacht Club members and friends disclosure agreement

Please note that there are two divisions of the Rio Vista Yacht Club (RVYC) and this agreement is inclusive of both divisions;

 a sea division which includes any and all vessels used for sea travel or activities to include but not limited to;

Boats - all types

Jet skis

Canoes – although we don’t use those much due to the physical exertion required

Rafts

Flotation devices

Floating tubes

Skis

….and especially the “floating bar”

And a land division including but not limited to

Cars

Mopeds

Motorcycle

Scooters

Electric scooters

And especially

The…..Mike & Tammy deluxe land yacht hereto in referred to as “RV”

In light of recent litigation concerns brought to light at the recent nuptials of Tammy’s “bizillionaire” uncle we felt it necessary also protect our remaining assets estimated at about 20 dollars ( or two 12 packs) until payday, with that cycle repeating weekly. With that being said, please read and understand this agreement as you will not be able to engage in any activities unless you affirm understanding of this agreement PRIOR to partaking in activities with the RVYC for obvious reasons……......

Understand both land and sea activities engaged in by Rio Vista Yacht Club members- affectionately called the Cottee River Crew are dangerous, reckless, and typically laced with frivolity, they are not for the weak of heart- (or weak of bladder for that matter).  Activities are typically not well thought out, never accurately pre-planned and certainly not tested for safety.  Activities can include boat trips, tailgating, swimming, jet skiing, bar hopping, “hump night” activities, crab shack outings, Karaoke outings, BBQ’s, and mostly sitting around in scenic locations somewhere around water or in the RV having “happy hour”*. 

Please understand that engaging in activities with the RVYC can and is dangerous.  Falls can and have occurred, please realize heads can and have been split open, bones can and have been broken (just ask Debbie or see our pink shoe monument for details).  Be aware sympathy or even medical care can be delayed due to laughing, or the need for more beer, if you fall victim to one of these falls or head bashing events (just ask Tammy).  While we have not killed anyone yet, be aware we obviously have given someone a heart attack while boating and we thought we were being good and didn’t even know it was happening?  Sooooooo…..you can not even be sure of your very life while engaging in activities with the Cottee River Crew.  You must realize dangerous animals typically referred to as “drunken idiots” loom at every event.   To make matters worse these drunken idiots often try to engage in activities mainly held for much younger people obviously without regard to their own health or safety.  Be aware plans for upcoming events will be discussed that most likely will be outrageous and flippant, but planning inconsequential events that allow mass consumption of alcohol and people watching is a key skill you must possess to be a member of the club.  Members or visitors that are not fun and/or possess no useful skills (such as bartending, driving, or boat navigation) may be tossed overboard or tied to the back of the RV.  The RVYC takes no responsibilities for the actions of its members and certainly cannot warn or control said members, in fact, we won't warn you, we will be to busy tending to our vessels. 

Above all else keep in mind we take no responsibilities for our own actions and recommend if you are joining us you don't either. Remember a wise man once said, .or should have said.........there is no lower being than one who judges others and something about a glass house?

There are no rules when engaging in activities with the RVYC except…. and this is very important, BYOB it is clear we can barely afford our own at the rate we drink

By engaging in activities with the Cottee River Crew, you are agreeing that we owe you no duty of care or any other duty.  We promise you nothing and if we did we probably won’t remember in the morning.  We do not and will not even try to keep activities safe for any purpose other than the ability to not spill a drink.  We won't even try to warn you about any dangerous or hazardous condition, whether we know about it or not because we are clearly irresponsible and silly.  If we do decide to warn you about something, that doesn't mean we will try to warn you about anything else and we actually could just be joking.  If we do make an effort to fix an unsafe condition, we may not try to correct any others, and we will probably make matters worse!    Sorry, we're not responsible.  We may give you bad advice.  Don't listen to us.  In short, just drink & enjoy, because life is too short to spend time worrying and too long to be miserable. 

Above all else, please heed these warnings and recognize we will deny any and everything, that may be troublesome; we often are able to say we don’t remember and exercise that right at all times deemed necessary .  Join in, enjoy all yacht club activities and have FUN!!

“Dream as if you will live forever, live as if you'll die today”

Sincerely, and with the best of luck to you if you choose to come along,

Mike & Tammy

* WARNING: please recognize with the RVYC “happy hour” has no definitive ritual or location and can occur at any time of the day and is NEVER a single hour, don’t hang with the “big boys” if you can’t handle it!!!